What if someone or someones knew that you as a newborn were having seizures but hid this fact because for whatever reason perhaps they were worried about the adoption going through, or were bribed, maybe they figured someone else would eventually realize why you screamed so much as a baby? My parents were told I was given a medication because I cried a lot and the group foster home I was in had too many other kids to care for to worry about a fussy baby so they drugged me. What they used, was a anti-seizure medication for newborns, which would not be realized until decades later. When I call for my records that I paid for when in 1990's the Federal Government declared that all closed adoptions be allowed for a fee of course be allowed to contract a court appointed confidential intermediary who would obtain updated medical records (after science and open adoption advocates fought that those with little to no knowledge of their medical history would be at a greater risk to health issues like cancer, heart disease and the like) I am informed that my records have been stolen by my appointed intermediary who walked off the job with them. After my initial your KIDDING right?! I realize that this is exactly what those with open adoptions have access to, medical information. With every seizure a condition I inherited from my biological mother I take one step in the wrong direction as doctors guess when there is this woman who spent the majority of her life in a group home and gave me up for adoption has the cheat sheet of what's going on with my brain but there is a locked door in my way! The gatekeepers are the very people who employed people who drugged a newborn to shut her up, lied on adoption papers, stole confidential documents and with just these acts that I know about, have violated every commitment they promise.
For over thirty years my brain has suffered damage to the temperol and frontal lobes due to untreated seizures and while neurologists work on mastering a correct treatment to beat the various seizures,including PSE I have while working on the migraines and misophonia I will work on unlocking this closed door not just for myself but for others because if someone supposedly cared enough to bring me into this world shouldn't they care enough to keep me in it?
